Moving through life by goals or in seasons?

On Beginnings, Endings, and Everything in Between

In the first week of the year, I would like to explore the facade of New Year’s resolutions. And with that, I have many questions and angles I would like to explore, like why do so many of us feel the urge to “reset” in January? Why does this moment feel loaded before you even start? Is this about time, or is this about control? Or could it be fear of standing still?

I notice with myself that with each new year I feel like I just wrapped up the one two years prior. Recently, I realised that I move through life by seasons, not by years. For me, time is cyclical rather than linear. Which means seasons filled with intentions that are value based, and do not follow the time frame of a single year. More on that later.

A visual reflection from this season called Tone.

First, let’s dig into the past for a bit. Back in the day, as in over 4000 years ago, during a 12 day religious festival called Akitu, the Babylonians created a ritual where they would return items that they had borrowed from each other and pay debt as an act to restore balance in their community and perhaps even earn good luck in return. The more I read about it, the more I wish we could bring this back within our own communities. The biggest difference between the past and the present is the collective shift from making promises, doing good, meaningful acts to gods and community, to our individuality and optimizing our own personal lives, especially in our hyper individualistic Western society.

And the desire to start over has never left. This is what behavioural scientists call the fresh start effect. Which is basically that with each new cycle, such as Mondays, birthdays, and New Year’s, we feel very optimistic about reaching our goals. It’s as if we turn the page on who we are, distancing ourselves from previous failures and behaviours that no longer serve us. This is why temporary turning points, Mondays, birthdays, New Year’s, feel so powerful. The effect is not only that; it actually increases your motivation as well. However, as mentioned, these turning points are temporary, so is its booster for motivation.

So I did some digging into identity reset and behavior change, exploring their connection to each other. Behavioral changes or goals only last if our identity supports them. Only focusing on what you want to achieve or on what your goal is, is basically not enough. Instead, you need to believe and focus on the person you want to become. So quick question, are your current New Year’s resolutions supported by your identity? If yes, great :) If not, perhaps have a look at the suggestions of the author James Clear, from Atomic Habits, which I personally found very interesting:

“Change your outcomes. Set new goals.

Change your processes. Set new habits, new activities, new meetings.

Change your identity or your beliefs. Set new thoughts or perspectives”

And this is nothing new. By systematically changing the narrative of our beliefs about ourselves, we create habits that support our changing identity, and we reach the outcomes we would like to see or experience.

As I mentioned earlier, I have started to lean into the fact that time is rather cyclical than linear. Just like the moon, our cycles as women, and all things in nature, the cycle repeats. The philosophy behind cyclical time is that time moves in repeating cycles, and somewhere in the future, there is a fixed point where a complete reset happens, and the cycle ends yet renews. If we were able to recognize that life moves in cycles, perhaps it would be easier to handle the ups and downs, instead of fighting against them. Which is obviously in some cases easier said than done. Motherhood is a great example of this. Some seasons seem to last forever, those moments where you sit in the dark completely worn out and overstimulated, wondering when it will pass, noticing how you are not able to get things right, second guessing yourself. And maybe a day, a month, or a year later, those same feelings have passed and the difference can be just like day and night. And I find that such a beautiful thing.

This artwork is called Balanced Tides and is part of my collection. Available here on my website.

My goal here is to help you perhaps consider your yearly goals, to analyze in what season you are in, and to ask yourself what your intention is for this season. Some seasons are for expanding and creating, while others might be for maintaining what is currently right in front of us. Just re fall in love with what is current.

And for me? This year will be the one without any promises. Just simple seasonal intentions.

Love,

Romy