The letter just got bigger
Issue no.1
Things are about to switch up a bit!
For a while, this newsletter has mostly been a reframe, one question that I unpack and hand over to you. I still believe in the fact that we need to keep asking ourselves questions about why we do things the way that we do. Why we hold ourselves to crazy standards, and how we can listen to our voice a bit better. This is more important than ever, and so the reframe essays are not going anywhere. But. It has been the whole newsletter for a long time now, and honestly, it was never meant to be the whole concept of what I envisioned for Orange & Kin.
So from today, you can expect a weekly issue rather than an essay. Some issues you will get the things that are actually inspiring me that week, such as a book, a conversation, something my kids said that I haven’t stopped thinking about, and some issues you will get the things that are keeping me up at night.
Orange & Kin is growing, and I am working on something very special that I will launch in the first week of September; I can’t wait to share it with all of you.
What you can expect from Orange & Kin every Sunday from now on:
A Recap of The week
What is happening Currently
Thoughts on Motherhood
Thoughts on Womenhood
A Reframe worth sitting with
Enjoy ♡
The week
My family and I just returned from our annual trip to Finland and Estonia. My partner grew up in both countries, so we try to organize a family trip every year to see family and friends as well as enjoy the most peaceful Finnish and Estonian nature. This time we decided to stay 4 days in Finland and 2 weeks in Estonia.
We spent 3 days in Helsinki, we ate at the same place twice. Finnish sushi is really good and very fresh. We spent 3 nights at our friends’ cabin in the middle of nowhere, we were truly surrounded by Finnish nature. The green view, the stillness, the air itself, it does not get old. Every single time, I catch myself romanticising our lives, how it would be if we had a summer cabin of our own, because the kids, my husband, and I just love it so much. But for now, we are just very grateful for our friends opening up their home for us.
Currently
Since I was a child, I have had a sweet spot for pickled foods. When I was a child, my grandpa knew that nothing would make me happier than a jar of pickled silverskin onions. My second favourite is pickled cauliflower; it keeps the crunch, and the flavour becomes so much more vibrant.
My go-to pickled foods at the moment are radish and red onion; it just works with everything. Not only is it tasty, but it’s also actually so beneficial for your health as well. I think that memory of my childhood has sparked something in me. In the upcoming months, I will get into different recipes for pickled foods.
If you are just as excited as me, please share your favourite recipes with me!
On Womenhood
I am a firm believer that there is no difference between the current you and your future self. There is no one way ahead waiting somewhere, more finished than you are right now. Not a single hair on my body agrees with that narrative (and I have a lot of hair) because I don’t believe life is linear. The only difference between you and your future self is the decisions you make today, and your future self is the fruit of that.
I wrote an article about it a while back on the topic of cyclical vs. linear:
As you know, our environment, not only the location but also the conditions and the people around us, has a huge impact on us. Over time, we have so many added layers to ourselves, some are our own, and some are not, which hold us back.
For me, growing is like rooting deeper and deeper in my own soil. Unlearning behaviours and beliefs that were pushing on me, which no longer, or even never, benefited me. Sometimes that’s where real growth lies.
I can’t tell if it's because I am in my 30s now or the fact that I have leaped to start my own business, but I feel a sense of groundedness, a sense of calm I haven’t felt before. It has always been easier for me to rely on the ‘safe choice’ to make sure that there is less turbulence in my life. So maybe it is a combination of both.
Taking bets has never been my thing, let alone taking bets on myself. However, now I see that watching my own leap unfold from within outwards has given me more than a safe choice has done. I truly feel like there is magic around a woman who uses her voice to share what she really cares about with others.
The story of how we grow as women in this current time is completely up to ourselves to write, to guide, to experience, and to feel. And I am so grateful for all the women before us who made that happen.
On Motherhood
Last week I shared the following note about how grateful I am that our kids are experiencing such a rich cultural childhood.
And I would like to touch a bit more on that. Growing up in Amsterdam as a kid with Surinamese roots was absolute bliss. The Netherlands is very multicultural, but in Amsterdam it is on another level. I know this does not apply to everyone in Amsterdam, but I have not experienced any racism towards me. Only once I got older and travelled to different places did I experience confused looks and felt like an outsider, but still nothing more intense than that. I am very happy that these feelings came later in my life. Because I can imagine that if you have negative experiences as a kid, it has such an impact on your self-esteem and the way you carry yourself. As an adult, it does not affect me personally, again, I am very fortunate.
A few years ago, I received the book The Mixed-Race Experience as a birthday present.
And it truly was the most interesting book on race I have read in a long time. If you have kids who are mixed race, I would highly recommend this book. It touches on the subjects of race, identity, interracial relationships, raising mixed-race kids, and more. The writers Naomi and Natalie Evans have done an incredible job of giving people from all kinds of cultures an opportunity to share their story.
Because even as a parent, you might not be able to truly comprehend what it means for your kid to be mixed-race, and this book is a great start by reading other people’s lived experiences.
The Reframe
Redirection is not failure. In motherhood, in your career, in yourself, the more time we spend on this earth, the more we learn, the more we adapt because that is what we do as human beings. The direction of the path we walk can look different this year than it did last year and different again next year.
Before you go, I wanted to ask you to look within yourself. And ask yourself if there is a direction you would rather go to, but something is holding you back. Look at the pushback and see where it comes from, whose voice it is, and if it is actually something that belongs on your path or not.
Love,
Romy
